muffins, mojitos, music

I am here. I am back to functioning. I was worried for a little while that I had crossed some sort of line- a line that separated reasonable strain from brain damage. Staying awake four nights in a row isn’t easy. It is not easy when for some reason I could not sleep during the day…. just could not. On top of that I got a cold that turned to a chest thing. I almost never get colds so this concerned me. The coughing irritated the side-pain issue… ug! I was sure that at some point sleep would just take me and I would have no choice at all. I would be walking and just collapse. Maybe that would have been a blessing? I am awake now.

I am awake but somehow affected by whatever it was that my body was doing to stay awake (adrenaline?). I can’t stop DOING STUFF. Yesterday I made muffins. I don’t really eat muffins- my son and husband kind of like them… I mean, muffins are not a standard purchase… I don’t know what came over me…

My neighbor dropped off some surplus fruit they were worried they would not eat in time… I got to work. I had initially planned on making banana muffins. I made those: 12 cute little banana muffins. Then I thought a bit and started in on cherry oatmeal muffins (my own recipe that I came up with spur-of-the-moment): 6 very large ones. I moved on to apple cinnamon with a crumb topping- about 8 medium ones. I finished up with orange-vanilla muffins (another twelve to the pile). I had no idea what happened. I didn’t even consult a recipe. The muffins just came (and came, and came, and came).

Then it was sun tea. I started filling bottles and setting them out on the porch. Yesterday scares me a little bit when I think about it. I need to reign in my strange productive modes and focus on things that will be more of a help to me. A huge pile of muffins (of varying fruit flavors) does not really mean much to me today.

Next item of business: search for drink recipes. Know any good ones? I am compiling a drink cookbook as a wedding gift but will also make a smaller, cheaper version to distribute among my friends. Send me a drink recipe and get your name right under it. Do this!

If anyone ever does want to email me: lemoncreme at gmail.com. That is sort of my ‘business’ email (as in the one that can afford to get spammed a little bit without making me bonkers). It is the post-able one that doesn’t include my name!

Speaking of contributions: I want to know what people are listening to. I want music recommendations. Once in a while I want to know what other people are getting into. It is good to start on something new. If you read this blog please comment and include some things that you have been listening to lately. I am pretty open, genre-wise, lately.

I guess it is time to go to the park. My body aches (hey! I went running last night) and I don’t think I will ever be caught up on sleep but the sunshine awaits us. Time to pack up the bubble-stuff and the Balzac novel and get out of here.

health! health!

Alright. So…. working all day, momming all night, stressing for valid as well as stupid reasons, a female parts (tmi, trust me, I won’t go on) related health snag, a chest cold caught at the doctor’s (oh, did I say doctor’s office? NA! Office where one can only ever hear of the doctor and must see the nurses!), a little touch of family drama, a toddler, my husband starting a new job, sucking up to an artist who makes me do odd jobs for her… I don’t know. I think I have crashed a little.

I am taking a break. A real break! A break from all non-child and husband related obligations for a little while. I will resume life in a week or so. I PROMISE. In the mean time I will either be at work or snuggling with a member of my household.

i suppose that

get as little sleep as I have lately and not get sick.

I am sick! The nice thing? My husband left his job today (he starts his new one next week) and I get to rest up a bit because…
…I AM WORKING FIVE OVERNIGHTS THIS WEEK.

In the meantime- thank goodness for hot tea, gin and tonic, and Scrabulous. I am hooked.

I am happy to say that next week:
-my husband starts his new job, which I already mentioned
-we employ a person for the shifts I have been covering and I can go back to working part time- In case no one has caught on I have been working ALL night several nights a week then coming home to take care of my son ALL day- sleeping from like 6:30-9:30 p.m.- that is three hours
-I will not have this stupid cold anymore
-I will do all of the many things I have been meaning to do: run!, clean the hall closet, bake stuff, visit people, mail things (sorry ember), update my Youtube page (Annie, send me the info on your account so I can add you and you can see the crazy dancing jIII pics)

ga- never appreciate nose breathing until I can’t do it…

work and work and pile trash on the street

I am at work again. I should say: I am not sleeping. Not sleeping much at all.
I got home from work at 8 a.m. and went straight into setting up for and participating in the yard sale. I pooped out around 13:00 and took something like a nap. I am not sure I really slept at all… that is unclear. I got up and ate something, tried to go back to sleep but, man, I missed my guys so much I just couldn’t stay in that room all by myself…

…here I am after midnight back at work. Actually, I just left this to go investigate something. I heard a banging sound and looked out the window. Two 20ish girls were making out in the (closed) pool area: drunkenly, sloppily, hitting into the windows… I hate telling drunk 20 year olds what to do!!! HATE IT. It makes me feel 1)old, 2)bossy, 3)lame…

I need sleep.

I gave a lot of crap away today!! The rest is waiting to get hauled to whatever magic place the city takes our large trash.

the mystery of the cardboard crown

How the hell did my son get a Burger King crown? Mystery. I have theories that this kid sneaks out at night. I have a few pieces of evidence to support that statement:
-One morning I found a pair of VERY DIRTY (as in actual dirt) pajama pants lying beside his bed and no memory of when he actually wore them? Did he not cover his tracks well enough?
-He has some vocabulary that he did not pick up in this house… not to mention some odd skills suddenly.
-The crazy ol’ neighbor keeps accusing him of throwing rocks at her house in the middle of the night. What if she wasn’t making that up? Ha.
-The Burger King crown… we have never taken the child to Burger King.

He is three, so it is kind of unlikely that he is actually sneaking out. He is a bit short to get a good turn on our doorknobs in particular. Maybe he entertains visitors? It is a good thing that we still keep a monitor on in there!

I was informed that I have to wear the crown today. I hope that he doesn’t mean all day. I am sure he will be sick of it shortly.

In other news, have I mentioned the bridesmaid dress? The shiny fuschia tube? Tube with no chest darts or anything? Yup! I am not usually sooooooo vain but for the first time in my life I think a dress almost made me cry. I was happy to learn that it had the same effect on at least one other bridesmaid. Things are being done. Part of me wants to make the dress work– a little running, the right shawl… I like a challenge. I do! I think I will start this challenge today!

So many things I can do today… I AM NOT WORKING TONIGHT!!! That is correct! I am now only working overnights on WEEKENDS the way nature and my husband’s schedule intended. This means I get to sleep during the day as needed as opposed to waiting for my husband to get home at 5:30!!! NICE. No more child yelling at me as I sit in a corner bleary-eyed and shaking.

Also- I get to have a couple of drinks and watch the Office finale tonight. NO WORK NO WORK NO WORK.

Maybe I am having a yardsale this weekend. It, like so much, depends on the weather.

sometimes i am very aware that tapioca balls aren’t really bubbles

(or pearls. I was just advised that they are not the ‘bubbles’ in ‘bubble tea’)

woke up this morning and went to the doctor. I won’t bore or disgust anyone with the details of my internal strife. Let’s just leave it with this: it is not life threatening, it is only life annoying. Yay for that. Really, I mean it.

The trip to the hospital was very exciting. I don’t really mean that in a good way. The registration department gave me lots of details about MY HUSBAND’S medical history… yeah. See, it’s not really a big deal since I know the ins and out of that guy anyway but that is a violation of HIPAA, right? I think so. Interesting. Later, in the waiting room a woman FLIPPED OUT. She looked pregnant and very miserable and I guess she just couldn’t take it anymore. She was escorted out huffing and puffing and swearing. That left me with my little Balzac model and my empty urine cup that was given to me for the wrong test. The nurse came to get me (for the wrong test)…. yikes.

What is the best way to celebrate a non-life threatening diagnosis? Maybe bubble tea. I went with my sister and my son. My son does love those steamed buns. It was a lovely time… but of course, today is one of those mixed blessing/so-so days so on the way home there was a little incident. I met up with my neighbor on the corner and while I was speaking to him to men got into a fight across the street. The fight got worse and worse until I decided to get my cell phone out. One guy was going to KILL the other by braining him with a cement planter. Yes. My son was asleep in the stroller and but fifteen feet away a man was apparently trying to end the life of another with a large cement object. I did call 911 but the man missed, the bloody men parted and went their separate ways to get stitches, press charges… I don’t know.

So now I have the rest of this day to do whatever. I have pretty much done all I mean to do today. That means it is time for Balzac and (actually, I have no idea what my son will be reading/doing).

Happy Tuesday.

some of the best things are free, i guess

I had a fabulous morning. It is kind of chilly but the sun is shining and we headed to our ’secret park’. The secret park is rarely overrun- in fact lately we have only seen three Russian women with about five or six babies that they place on two sheets. This in no way detracts from the the eden-like character of this little spot. It has giant trees hanging over and a great view of the water. There are even wild violets!! Usually my son gets busy with one of several of his self-appointed tasks and I sit atop on the top tier of the big piece of playground equipment and read in the sun until my son needs me or decides to go home (or decides it is time to buy strawberries, like he did this morning).

I keep thinking we need to go back to the hustle-y and bustle-y playground we were going to before. Maybe just once in a while, so he can learn how to deal with bossy kids…. bossy kids and that one woman who never liked me. I can’t be sure that she never liked me, I just assume so because she never smiles when I say hello and last week at the library she was glaring at me. I think it is either because of the time I had to remove her bitey, kicky child from my friends infant or maybe the time that my son was making too much noise at the library… anyway… whatever- we have our heavenly, breezy little spot with the babies and bizarrely mutated action figures that mysteriously show up some days.

Oh yeah- yesterday’s entry is dismal-ish. That is because I wrote it BEFORE getting any sleep. I wasn’t really in a bad mood- just overwhelmed with depressing images from watching too much news at work (and also a little stressed from work drama- I hate that stuff. Why can’t we all just get along?).

I am going to go soak some rice in coconut milk. Today is a very nice day. Too bad I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. I hate those.

Happy Mother’s Day

(Three nights, no sleep- btw)

Happy Mother’s Day to all you mommies out there! I am also thinking of moms all over the world: Myanmar, Zimbabwe, Iraq… Something about being a mom really lets you know what there is to lose in life.

My son greeted me this morning with an invitation to wrestle him and then asked me for pizza at 7:45 a.m., just as I came in the door:)

I am a lucky mommy! Lucky to have my son and my super, fantastic husband. I am lucky to have my mother who sent me AN AWESOME SET OF KNIVES for mother’s day.

(also, don’t watch documentaries on child abuse at 4 a.m. on mother’s day after three days of no sleep… sheesh)

sunshine and roses and side-pain!!!

Yeah!

I should be curled up in a ball crying last night. I went to work with stabby side pain. Yeah, my screwy insides decided to act up as soon as my mouth stopped hurting. We can look at it this way: all things needing attention are making themselves known before the husband loses his job. Right?

Whatever. I puked. Not appendicitis though. Its that girl stuff unresolved. It can hurt! I don’t care!! I DON’T CARE.

My husband just left here looking adorable in a suit. He does that sometimes.
My son is listening to a very sad Moby song in the kitchen. He does that sometimes. (Three year olds, man)

So I worked through the pain- came home feeling better AND found our little Bush incentive (sounds funny when you put it that way) hit our bank account. I also found like five friendly emails in my inbox. What is that all about? I will take it. People going out of their way to be friendly and nice? I will always go along with that. Keep it up.

I was sort of hating people yesterday when I had to endure a solid hour of boasting coupled with ridicule of other people. My fault: I still subject myself to people like that. People who used to have low self-esteem but through the magic of high maintenance and learning to put everyone else down are suddenly on top of the world. That is always a wretched thing.

Anyway- the sun is shining, I made the best coconut curry rice last night (that will be breakfast now!) and my son is funny as hell. He is now dancing and singing about pears. Two pears.

Happy weekend.

May 7th, kind of an odd day

Today feels alright so far. Yesterday really, really did not.

-Around 7:45 a.m. the door bell rang, and rang, and rang…. I went downstairs and swiftly pivoted and ran back up the stairs. The ringer was my famously cranky ‘eccentric’ (that is putting it lightly) neighbor looking for people to yell at. This is always a bad sign.

I no longer feel the need to respond to her antics because she: a) has a twisted crush on my husband that disturbs him deeply, b) called the police to report that my then 2 year old son was vandalizing her property in the middle of the night, and c) when we last spoke she told me that she was sexually violated by a dog while people (uh, she didn’t call any of ‘em people, she used three different racial slurs in one sentence) watched…. I avoid her.

-Went to our favorite park. On the way there my son read a sign that said “no parking”. He thought this meant “You can’t go play at the park”. He started ranting at me “YOU SAID PARK”. We had to straighten that up.

-Park was filled with like 10 babies. Babies, flowers, and little butterflies. Sweet!

-While at park I stood up underneath a piece of playground equipment and OW. Instant huge bump, saw stars…. Yuck.

-Ate strawberry ice cream cones even though I had vowed to get super-hot on this blog earlier that day.

-As we neared my home we heard something… I actually wondered if there was some sort of concert somewhere… it was loud even from three blocks away. What was it? Industrial speakers piled on cranky old neighbors roof NEXT DOOR TO MY HOUSE blasting top 40 station and local ‘alternative’ (its not really alternative, its like Good Charlotte, fight with me about that if you must) alternately (alternative alternately).

-Also, our street and our yard were littered with old shingles and most of the clothes of the roofers

-Went into house and realized the music was almost as loud inside. I had just remarked to someone the other day that I hadn’t actually heard a Mariah Carey song in years (I was wondering why she was suddenly everywhere- I am selectively out of touch). I can now sing for you “Touch My Body”. Thanks!

-Get message from friend warning that ‘we have been discovered’ by other friend. Uhm, whatever? What is the big deal? There has been this sort of exponential ‘finding’ thing going on lately since everyone is finding everyone who didn’t find everyone before… uhm, I have been accepting with a little caution, I mean…. it has been years and years, right?

- REASON FOR WARNING APPARENT. Letter from old friend apologizing for turning me on to post-punk and anti-societal views when I was 14. Now wants to turn me on to a friend she calls “Jesus”. Yes, girl who shaved half her head and drew the anarchy symbol on the shaved half every morning went to Bush’s inauguration. She sent me a link to her blog where she also explains how she is ‘over feminism’ and really very pro-military now. Not only her, but her brother and one of our mutual friends. This mutual friend once (like 1990?) disposed of all of her Violent Femmes albums one day because she was offended when Gordon Gano referenced Jesus. These people aren’t really big on moderation, I don’t think. Interesting, though.

(I thought it was a little cocky to be concerned that she had ‘influenced’ me so much. She was just older. Its not like I bought in to everything she did! I never got into the ironic viewing of porn or the re-creation of satanic rituals for kicks on a Friday night. I just sort of borrowed tapes and envied her Doc Martens (my mom wouldn’t let me get any that laced that high up).

-chatted with friend (one who alerted me to the ‘find’) about all of this.

-music still blaring!!!!!

-Brother-in-law phoned like a billion times while music was blaring to tell me that the music was blaring and to ask if it is possible to make macaroni and cheese without cheese. Spent significant amount of time teaching him to make macaroni and cheese with soy cheese.

-Husband comes home. He is not hungry and I have made way too much food because the blaring music kicked me into some strange, twitchy mode.

-Music FINALLY STOPS. I have a drink and kind of stare at the television.

I hear that the music will start up again really soon………

*DISCLAIMER* I am not really opposed to anyone being any religion, and I have nothing against most religions. I myself am not exactly an atheist. I DO, however, react strongly to certain conversion techniques and some right-wing ideologies because I was raised, for as long as my parents kept it up, in a fundamentalist-type faith.