the farmer’s daughter

100 things you did not need or care to know about me!!! Enjoy!

1. I suddenly like ice cream WAY TOO MUCH. I avoided it for years, that stuff is good!
2. I recently saw “The Hills’ for the first time. Wow. I don’t even know if I can say it is bad– that doesn’t begin to cover my reaction. I was sort of stunned into submission. It is amazing.
3. I watched a party movie marathon (stopped and started over and over) this weekend while trying to charge between shifts: ‘Go’, ‘Party Monster’, ‘24 Hour Party People’, and ‘Groove’. I am not sure why.
4. I am trying to play the guitar again. My callouses have completely disappeared. It hurts.
5. Today is the first day that my jaw and teeth do not hurt!!
6 I also forgot how yummy tortilla chips and salsa are.
7. I could sleep any time of any day. I am serious.
8. I have never had a traffic violation/ticket…nothing!
9. I have been arrested in my youth ,though…
10. I usually get up at 6:30 a.m. when I do not work the night shift
11. My husband has a scar that looks like a “10″ on his arm.
12. My husband and I have become obsessed with CSI Miami. That show is entertaining and funny.
13. We are also obsessed with all things Chef Ramsay. We usually keep these things to ourselves.
14. I don’t drink beer except at barbecues (it would look suspicious to turn down beef and beer, right?)
15. I can’t wear wrist watches because they stop on me after a week. Nothing on my wrist will ever keep time!! In highschool I wore a clock around my neck (not like Flavr Flav) as a solution…. didn’t work, either.
16. I just learned that my leg pain is from my crocked pelvis. My c-section was because of this, too. This all came from a twisty childbirth. Thanks mom!
17. I hate opening my eyes underwater and I hate wearing goggles but I would love to SEE underwater.
18. I love fruit smells. I wish the world smelled like oranges and strawberries and cherries.
19. I look ridiculous in parkas. I think I am too short.
20. No one will go ice skating with me except my husband, but he can’t because we would have to get a sitter.
21. We are both too paranoid for sitters.
22. I didn’t so much as see an avocado until I was 18 or 19. I am from someplace far away from stuff.
23. I am so afraid of flying (I will do it if I have to) and I married the son of a pilot. I don’t tell him that every time I hear about a small plane going down I am sure it is his dad!
24. I grew up on a potato farm. I don’t really eat potatoes.
25. I can’t chew gum. It gives me a headache.
26. Most sunglasses look stupid on me. I think my ears are crooked. I have to wear big sunglasses so it is less obvious.
27. Speaking of sunglasses: my husband would wear aviator glasses and those stupid pilot’s jackets if he could. I always beg him not to. He used to wear some police jacket and a sweatshirt with some sort of official Nasa rocket scientist insignia sewn on.
28. I feel guilty that I do not let my husband wear his bomber jacket/aviator look. I should be more mature than than that, right?
29. I gave my son a very embarrassing pixie-type cut and I do not know how to fix it.
30. I am never bragging about my hair-cutting skills again.
31. I was supposed to go running last night but I painted my nails instead.
32. 100 is a long way away!
33. I am obsessed with my socks and underwear. I think I redirected all of my OCD to this part of my life. After I do laundry I arrange them in the drawer in the order that I plan to wear them, balancing the favorites with the purely functional. I need to keep my socks paired. I feel like crap when I lose one! Sad, right?
34. I am also a little whacky when it comes to dishes. I cannot leave any sitting in the sink.
35. Last night my husband and I drank really cheap wine and woke up at 4 a.m. with very sore throats.
36. I love lemonade. I love it!
37. I love tequila, too. It took me years to fully embrace it. I have never had a bad tequila experience.
38. I have a terrible fear of public intoxication. I fear even semi-public intoxication. I am not the sort of person who does radical things when I am drunk but I do feel stupid because I tend to:
39. rap in french (secret talent, secret talent)
40. give people insanely bold life-changing advice
41. make extensive plans with people i barely know
42. dance!
43. I almost married someone for a french residency and a ready-made writing career (so glad I didn’t, so glad I didn’t)
44. I wrote a poem for someone else and they published it under their own name!
45. I love to swim more than anything but I get freaked out and think that everyone is laughing at my butt in a bathing suit!
46. I bought jewelry for a family member at a police auction! I am a little worried about ‘bad juju’
47. I worry a lot about ‘bad juju’, though I claim to be free of superstition.
48. I had to ask what ‘giving head’ meant when I was like 17.
49. I am allergic to bivalves
50. I feel like I am a bad person because I have two friends I never know how to deal with.
51. I feel like a bad person because I like icecream and tortilla chips.
52. (see last) I hold myself to the most ridiculous code of conduct that I would never, ever think to impose on another person (also see below)
53. I also force myself to read novels in other languages and listen to lectures on mp3 when I would rather not be doing those things.
54. I wish I was five inches taller.
55. Sometimes I wish I was Robert Plant (like 40 years ago, though)
56. I was kidnapped once! If anyone ever wants to hear that story here, let me know!
57. I used to be able to sing quite well but now I can’t at all.
58. I can’t keep a plant alive and this depresses me. Can you believe I grew up on a farm?
59. I am choc full o’guilt! Even now, when all my misdeeds are getting further and further behind me.
60. I didn’t like chocolate until three years ago.
61. I noticed while brushing my teeth this morning that my husband’s bathroom reading pile consists of Jean-Paul Sartre, Falkner, and some Rosicrucian pamphlets that showed up in the mail when we first moved here. No wonder no one seems to know that he is funny.
62. Speaking of being secretly funny: my husband is a human beat-box when no one else is around and I am nice about it because I know that I probably talk in my sleep.
63. I hate my freckles. I hate them!! It is the beginning of freckle season. I need to start wearing a big, floppy, sun hat.
64. I wish someone would do the thrift store circuit with me next week! I need some summer rags!
65. I am a very cynical person, but once I was whacked on the back by something I could not see!
66. I wish I could decorate cakes, but I can’t… I am a decorating failure!
67. Though it is very obvious, I get a little angry when people point out that I am short. I want to start picking on tall girls and see how it goes over.
68. I have tried from all angles: I just don’t like celery
69. Once, in the middle of a terrible fever, I was actually given a voodoo-esque potion to drink! I am not making this up. … and it sort of worked (maybe my fever would have broken anyway?) that would make a good entry. It is way grosser than maybe it seems at this point, though
70. No one has expressed any interest in seeing the “Mama Mia” movie with me. I am very disappointed in certain family members.
71. I once got in a fist fight with my brother while driving. We nearly hit our history teacher. It was a serious ordeal and my mother was going to talk to him about it… but he had a stroke and didn’t recall anything concerning the two of us. (and, no, the stroke was not a related incident!)
72. I think my son is watching a rock opera with penguins right now (it is potty time so I leave him to his business)
73. I make my own paneer!
74. I love to make stuff but can’t anymore because my joints hurt for some reason. I blame the overnight shift.
75. Wow! this is boring. Number 75 is about how this is boring you!
76. I snuck into a bar when I was sixteen and got tossed out but my friends stayed in and I met a weird old french guy who told me he was Lou Reed and everyone thought I made up that story to make them feel jealous (because they had the time of their lives inside the bar) but I swear I didn’t… and I know it was not Lou Reed, that is not the point of the story!
77. When I was a kid I slept in my closet.
78. I sunburn easily and hate it when people point this out like it is a character flaw. Whatever!!! Just genetics LADIES.
79. Fashion magazines depress me.
80. Why can’t we all be free and wear bad slogan tee shirts to work and face paint and giant glam boots and sparkle spray in our hair and tons of scarves??????? whatever we want? Underwear makes a great hat…
81. I like being at the beach.
82. I like bonfires!
83. One of my ex-boyfriends hit on someone else when we were at a funeral together. I thought that was a historically tacky moment.
84. We have a nice kite
85. This list is getting difficult!
86. My favorite color is red, but green is looking pretty good to me lately.
87. My husband and I have been secretly all excited about showing my son the “Star Wars” original trilogy for a long time. We keep waiting for the right moment. I don’t think we have confessed this to anyone, yet.
88. I found a heap of dead piglets when I was a little girl and no one believed me and I couldn’t figure out where I had seen them.
89. I used to try to break my own records for holding my breath while sitting in church.
90. I told someone a scary story once and made them pee in their pants. My mom was really angry.
91. I will be taking a nap soon!
92. I will be making rice pudding this evening…
93. I will spend a lot of the remainder of this day making my sister-in-law’s top secret wedding present.
94. My new computer is a much better friend to me than my last one!
95. I am losing steam on this list!
96. My husband has to iron his own damn clothes (to be fair, he has never ever asked me)
97. I only have two piercings. I had my eyebrow pierced once and it went very badly.
98. I have a lot of old pairs of New Balances and got a little sinking feeling when I saw “New Balances” on the “Stuff White People Like” blog. I can’t be that predictable… I am??
99. I just drank some yucky bismuth because of last night’s cheap wine.
100. I am a nice girl!!! So glad this is done! What a stupid idea!