the mystery of the cardboard crown

How the hell did my son get a Burger King crown? Mystery. I have theories that this kid sneaks out at night. I have a few pieces of evidence to support that statement:
-One morning I found a pair of VERY DIRTY (as in actual dirt) pajama pants lying beside his bed and no memory of when he actually wore them? Did he not cover his tracks well enough?
-He has some vocabulary that he did not pick up in this house… not to mention some odd skills suddenly.
-The crazy ol’ neighbor keeps accusing him of throwing rocks at her house in the middle of the night. What if she wasn’t making that up? Ha.
-The Burger King crown… we have never taken the child to Burger King.

He is three, so it is kind of unlikely that he is actually sneaking out. He is a bit short to get a good turn on our doorknobs in particular. Maybe he entertains visitors? It is a good thing that we still keep a monitor on in there!

I was informed that I have to wear the crown today. I hope that he doesn’t mean all day. I am sure he will be sick of it shortly.

In other news, have I mentioned the bridesmaid dress? The shiny fuschia tube? Tube with no chest darts or anything? Yup! I am not usually sooooooo vain but for the first time in my life I think a dress almost made me cry. I was happy to learn that it had the same effect on at least one other bridesmaid. Things are being done. Part of me wants to make the dress work– a little running, the right shawl… I like a challenge. I do! I think I will start this challenge today!

So many things I can do today… I AM NOT WORKING TONIGHT!!! That is correct! I am now only working overnights on WEEKENDS the way nature and my husband’s schedule intended. This means I get to sleep during the day as needed as opposed to waiting for my husband to get home at 5:30!!! NICE. No more child yelling at me as I sit in a corner bleary-eyed and shaking.

Also- I get to have a couple of drinks and watch the Office finale tonight. NO WORK NO WORK NO WORK.

Maybe I am having a yardsale this weekend. It, like so much, depends on the weather.