it feels sort of normal to be up at 3:30 a.m.

I am back at work again.  I sort of missed it.  I am really very good at not sleeping.  Quite good!

Well… maybe today my hubby would dispute that.  I worked out a lot this week and kept to the macrobiotic sort of thing.  Last night I was on my feet all night doing this and that at work.  I came home, got three hours of sleep and woke up feeling hungrier than I ever remember feeling.  I am the maker of the food in our household (not for sexist reason, simply happen to be the more talented in that arena) but I was too sleepy to figure out what to do so I sort of wandered around the house like a hungry beast/monster/something until we ended up ordering in.  I went back to my cave and fell asleep. 

I found a tool to help me sleep during the day: watching things with the commentary on.  It has to be an episode of something or movie I have seen before so I don’t really pay much attention to the screen.  It has been working like a charm!

I am watching ‘Murphy Brown’ here in the lobby as I wait for a late, late check in.  I think I am still very hungry but I must stick to my eating regime.  A visit home restored my very real fear of death.  I am paranoid, you know.  It is important for any person who must deal with me to know I am paranoid.

Speaking of my neuroses…. I was thinking about my husband and I in terms of the ‘couple friends’ scheme of things.  I realized that we are both, uhm…. quirky- each in our own way, I guess.  Dealing with us one on one is probably not that strange but the two of us at once is probably odd.  I noticed this the other day when we were talking to a couple of friends out on the street.  Our apartment is also sort of proof of this- a concentration of the things that are off about us: my random stockpiling of obsession-of-the-moment items (I am a bit of a collector, off and on) coupled with my husband’s real inability to deal with furniture. 

I have made a bold decision.  I am going to decorate.  Re-decorate doesn’t really apply here because we didn’t put so much decoration effort in when we moved in.  We simply placed our stuff where it happened to fit and tried to work with that.  I think I am ready to take it to the next level.  I am starting to believe in color.  Also: my son has started to become really obsessed with furniture.  He recites the possibilities to himself any spare moment he has “oh mama, a rocking chair! A white bookcase! A classic sofa!”.  He ran into my parents’ apartment and exclaimed with joy as he found each piece (”Oh mama, they have a blue armchair!”). 

A three year old obsessed with furniture.  He is also reading magazines about archetecture and design.  I think “Metropolis” is his current favorite.  All this in an apartment that is so poorly appointed…

But I have big ideas.  I used to daydream about a different place but have soon fallen in love with the revolutionary idea of adapting to the cheap and functional space rather than dreaming of a new one.  I kind of like the idea that we really could live anywhere rather than the idea that we are going to search for the perfect home.  I mean, we dig the neighborhood and can walk almost anywhere we need to go.  We aren’t having any more children… why not adapt? 

Blah- I have to go do stuff.  I need to turn off “Murphy Brown” and turn on some music and pretty this place up for the morning time when I will be greeted my upper middle class soccer moms and dads alike who will not like their coffee and point out anything that does not meet their approval.

Back to it!