almost march

It is raining! This makes me feel hopeful.  I feel like I can wear different clothes, take out my camera again… I don’t know… It might be Spring soon?  Spring with a big, big “S”.

I was fooled a few times this week.  I looked outside and saw the sun shining only to be met at the front door by bitter cold.  I have been working so hard at fighting my worst tendencies.  I usually fall prey to weather I don’t enjoy.  I spiral into my worse self: self pitying, slothful, depressive (and slightly obsessive) dullard.  Maybe everyone goes through that with the seasons?  I don’t know.  I have worked hard against that: daydreaming about color combinations and simplistic furniture while I clear out and clean our little hole-in-the-wall, playing with my old guitar, looking for new music and movies and books to fall in love with, forcing my child to experience things that will keep him from becoming a house zombie.

We did get outside today.  The sun was so lovely!  I mean, the wind was not too pleasant, but the sun was lovely!  I made the child march around town and look in windows with me.  We split yakitori and gyoza for lunch and had a good talk about his likes and dislikes.  A deal was struck: extra walking in exchange for movie time.  Less guilt that way?  He watched his movie while I watched “Rachel Getting Married” on my laptop with headphones (any of my entertainment is reduced to this during his waking hours).

I was pleasantly surprised by that movie, btw.   Isn’t it terrible that I am surprised when I really like a movie?  Maybe it is more terrible that my opinion of a movie can be largely influenced by musicians making cameos and Mr. Noodle (well, Bill Irwin) as nothing like Mr. Noodle.  Maybe I just thought I would hate Ann(e?) Hathaway because of the ads for that other wedding movie she was in last year.  Most likely all of the above.  I mean, if you want me to like a movie certainly have Robyn Hitchcock just standing around singing in the backyard like it is the sort of thing one would expect to see at any wedding and the guy from TV on the Radio as the groom and OMG Sister Carol just walking off of the porch singing “Natty Dread Congo”????  I am predictable that way… the sort of person you don’t want to be sitting with during a movie when Sister Carol comes out.. because I know you don’t care that I saw her years ago, etc.  You probably don’t want me to talk about Robyn Hitchcock and the memories of being 15 that I will suddenly be inspired to talk about.  I understand all of that. It is the stuff that makes my sister punch me in the arm.

I am lost in my entry now.  Oops. I no longer get sleepy, I get lost. Speaking of lost: on my way to work tonight I ended up in the middle of some sort of big police event.  I was pulled over and told to make a quick detour as the cops filled the street and I mean FILLED the street.  I don’t know why I was suddenly worried that all 6 (or more?) cars were there for me, somehow.  I can’t think of a thing in the world that they would want from me yet it seems so likely the second I see all of the blue lights.

Time to do other stuff.