not real

I slept during the day today- between my shifts, as always.  I did not wake up at all, which is not as always.  Instead it seems like I was all wrapped up in the longest, strangest dream.  So real-seeming that I have to relate it here (or at least get it typed out for the sake of keeping it somehow):

I entered a new doctor’s address into my gps unit and navigated to a part of town I had never been to before.  The houses were huge and bizarre and so, uhm, original?  The house directly across from the office I was going into consisted of a huge facade: three story, 2-d art deco, held up with angled supports.  Doorway led straight through the 2-d facade and down to a staircase that descended underground, where the actual dwelling was.

The house I was entering was a huge mist/grey colored Victorian complete with little towers.  The inside was dusky?  That is the best word I have.  Sort of low light and airy?  Lots of lavender and gray colored curtains.  I entered a waiting room through a large coat room.  A very cute and cheerful looking red headed woman took my information and told me that they were very excited to have a new patient in their practice.  I was excited to be seeing a doctor in such a strangely relaxing atmosphere.  I was lead up three stories to a large room decorated with cushions, tapestries, and more lilac curtains and met with a very enthusiastic (and odd) doctor.

He started asking me some questions but then had to take a call.  It turned out he had to give another red head who worked in the office a ride.  He told me to tag along.  We squeezed into a pick-up cab: myself, the doctor, and the two bubbly red heads, and headed out into a snow storm listening to Stevie Nicks on the radio.

We stopped and talked to a group of women…. sort of like the other two women.  A transient/down on his luck type old man hobbled up and collapsed right in front of everyone.  I expected the doctor to help him but instead everyone was looking at me.  I had to give him CPR- I was yelling at everyone to help me keep time on the compressions and they simply would not help!  The man was re-animated (by me) just in time for an ambulance to arrive.  I was sort of upset that no one was saying anything about what had just happened… in fact I lost track of the entire group of people and was suddenly shopping for fresh herbs in a market with my sister.

My sister and I were looking through produce and I remembered that I had that doctor’s appointment that I really needed to get back to.  I found a group of men standing outside the market and asked one to give me a ride.  He agreed but wanted me to first admit that I was not the sort of person who would be considered ‘hot’ enough to get a ride from him, this was just some sort of extra kind favor on his part.  I told him that he was not the sort of person I would ever want a ride from, but I really needed it… then I was back at the doctor’s office.

I was back upstairs with the doctor and both of his red headed girlfriends (this now made sense at this point  in the dream).  They were smoking some sort of hookah and kept asking me the time.  We started to go over my medical history.  The doctor asked me questions like had I ever been in love? Did childbirth hurt? Was I afraid of dogs?  Suddenly there was a very large (but quiet and calm dog) in the room.  It was sort of violet-y gray like everything else.  I started to tell them (doctor, red heads, dog) about my family medical history, my side pains, as well as the general story of my life-  I kept trying to bring up the man that I saved and they kept telling me that it was nothing heroic, just the right thing to do.. and that I should be the one pointing that out to people instead of begging for compliments-

My alarm went off and I was suddenly really confused by the urgency to get the doctor to hear me out.

internally challenged

I mean that literally.  It seems the next couple of months will involve the possible removal of an organ or two and other sorts of medical fun.  A high tolerance to pain is not always a good thing.  I have advice to give: If you wake up at night in a cold sweat and feel your insides are burning, call the doctor for goodness sake.  That is not what I did, though it is what I would have recommended to anyone else.

Other things on the horizon:  a few small trips to visit family balanced with some extra work hours I am trying to pick up. My mother is not doing awesomely well.  It seems that she must stop working short of retirement. 

My husband is quitting smoking.  Eeek!  I am happy and scared at the same time.  He is a pleasant person but like me he is a bit intense.  Put it this way: we have both managed to crack the same tooth from years of clenching.  We both obsess, pace…  I am thinking of just providing him with an endless supply of treats to put in his mouth.  We can’t really afford to buy him a new wardrobe, really, but I would rather have him plump and living with a lower risk of lung disease.  He might look cute with a little extra something on him.  I mean, I can’t imagine it ever bothering me and maybe store clerks would stop flirting with him.

Speaking of the man: I am planning a mega night out.  I don’t know quite what to do yet.  Seems like there have to be some good possibilities in the city voted America’s most live-able city by Forbes… right???  As I see it: we have not spent any money on ourselves nor any time alone.  We are spending all of our paid time off this year visitting family members and getting medical attention.  We parent the hell out of our child and I think even he is demanding we leave him alone (for happy fun with his aunt) for one evening.  It seems we have one small window to live it up a little.  Pressure, though.  If you knew you could have one night of fun what would you do? I love movies, but sitting in the dark seems a bit too much like something we could do at home for a lot less money.  Hmmm.  Ideas? Ideas?

I probably won’t be posting here very much in the near future, which is sort of unfortunate.  My son and I always have these great ideas for videos and podcasts but the reality of life is the work, sleep, feel like garbage, help other people out, boil lentils, sit by the bathroom to enforce potty usage continuum.   I keep thinking that in a couple of months everything will be a little different.  If anyone would like to donate a large sum of cash to free up a little of our time for creative output please contact me.
ha!  If you would like to give me cash in return for an organ I will save something for you!  Is it illegal to sell crappy pieces of oneself that do not work if the receiving party is well aware?